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Author: Subject: ***After more than a decade, this site will close
toft
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[*] posted on 1-5-17 at 10:06 AM
***After more than a decade, this site will close


Dear Members,

This site opened in November 2006 and in spite of how slow and dreary it seems at the moment it was once a very vibrant and useful site for partners and addicts.

I received a notice this morning that the site fees are coming up on May 30th. I never minded paying for the costs of running this site when I saw that it was helpful to people. I was once the partner of an addict and I received wonderful support as well in those times of sadness and for that I am thankful to all the members here for helping me find my way to my own recovery from co-dependency.

Coming here on a daily basis just to moderate PAI has become a great weight that keeps me from stepping into 100% freedom from the addiction and it is the last thread that will release me from living under that ugly umbrella of addiction. It is time for me to move on.

With that, I am not going to renew Porn Addiction Info. I am going to be out of town for the next few weeks, but I am looking for someone to buy the domain or check into other options. Otherwise, it will just disappear. I will be more proactive in this upon my return.

Please know that I do care about each and every one of you, but I think my job here is done.

More later,
toft




Addiction doesn't kill the addict. It kills the family, kids and people who tried to help!


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dawnie
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[*] posted on 2-5-17 at 06:15 AM


Toft, I don't blame you at all.

You have helped thousands of people on here, me being one of them and I Thank You so much!
I hope you will live each day without having to think about the most disgusting, deceitful, lying, misogynistic , hurtful, devastating thing in the world.
Keep in touch Linda.. I love you xx




Stop trying to repair your broken heart by placing it back back into the hands that broke it.
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Shackle
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[*] posted on 2-5-17 at 06:38 PM


Thank you! It helped me.

Shackle

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sadbob
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[*] posted on 4-5-17 at 01:33 AM


damn, dont feel bad about it dude. it was the first thing i found when i reached out and its got on the road to freedom! (shiny and chrome!)
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MrBadger
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[*] posted on 6-5-17 at 11:35 AM


Is there any energy in some of us getting together to pitch in and pick this up? IM me.



God loves me right here, right now, just the way I am. God's love is unlimited and unconditional. There is nothing I can do so good that it would make God love me more. Nor is there anything I can do so bad that it would make God love me less.

Motto: Quis sim scio. Scio quid faciam.
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[*] posted on 9-5-17 at 01:20 PM


Thanks for you dedication to helping everybody.



Onks
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ready2quit
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[*] posted on 11-5-17 at 12:49 PM


Toft / MrBadger - Sent you both U2U messages. I'd like to help keep this alive.



P-free from Sept 2012 until July 2014. Spent a couple months off and on binging, then realized I was back on the exact path that landed me here originally. Taking it day to day and trying to be a better man.
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markb4
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[*] posted on 11-5-17 at 08:33 PM


Wow, well I guess everything has to end sometime. Thank you so much for having this site as a source for many addicts; it has been incredibly useful and helpful!
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[*] posted on 12-5-17 at 12:31 PM


Sorry to hear this as well, good resource to have on the internet something I planned to use more again in the future after I become stable again (health & other issues). Sounds like from the original thread it is something that could be continued if the domain is purchased and someone takes responsibility. If MrB spearheaded such a thing and others pooled in maybe it could be done? But like Toft said if nobody takes an interest or is willing to take responsibility this site will probably indeed disappear! Interest and need seems to be the two key words involved here. Hope someone does this and this site is still here after May 30th? If not than thank you for the support even the short time I participated.
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MrBadger
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[*] posted on 13-5-17 at 01:09 PM


I'm willing to help organize a group to continue it. But my time is limited so I can't simply take on responsibility for it. But I believe in the power of "community" rather than hierarchical leadership, as the core values of 12-step emphasizes. So we can do together what none of us can do individually. We'll see what develops. A couple of us are working on it. And I'm seeing if there are some resources willing to pitch in with our extensive recovery community here locally.




God loves me right here, right now, just the way I am. God's love is unlimited and unconditional. There is nothing I can do so good that it would make God love me more. Nor is there anything I can do so bad that it would make God love me less.

Motto: Quis sim scio. Scio quid faciam.
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[*] posted on 17-5-17 at 06:14 PM


So sad.. But I want to thank you toft for having this forum so long! It's been such a help for me. I've visited a lot of recovery forums and this was the most serious, religious and the best. I do also wish you guys good luck with trying to keep it alive further. Thanks for all your hard work!
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[*] posted on 17-5-17 at 10:10 PM


I would really like to keep this board going. What would be the next steps?
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recoverer
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[*] posted on 18-5-17 at 05:03 PM


A bit late to the party, I feel sadness but I understand, you have provided a great service! I will U2U with my contact details



It may start with one image but it ends up in a whole lot of hurt!
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js2004
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[*] posted on 18-5-17 at 08:04 PM


I would like to help the site stay. Please post where funds can be sent. This was the best site for information and I credit it with helping to safe my life and marraige.
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MrBadger
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[*] posted on 20-5-17 at 09:12 PM


I don't know if anyone besides Toft has the necessary information. Anyone know what the cost to keep it alive would be? And where is it hosted? Etc?

Not sure if there's the energy to keep it going. But just in case you need it I'm MrBadger42@gmail.com




God loves me right here, right now, just the way I am. God's love is unlimited and unconditional. There is nothing I can do so good that it would make God love me more. Nor is there anything I can do so bad that it would make God love me less.

Motto: Quis sim scio. Scio quid faciam.
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[*] posted on 20-5-17 at 10:50 PM


I take it that the domain has to be renewed and someone has to foot the bill and be responsible for this site? ReadytoQuit, MrBadger, Justme1, js2004, and yours truly have offered some assistance or potential contributions. But you know what they say money talks and bull[Censored] walks. If the money can't be raised or nobody has the so called energy to commit to the project it will probably fade away. So perhaps hit up all the boys who have mentioned saving it or anyone else that may be willing, speak now or forever hold your peace? If several other parties chipped in I would contribute and help. If there is true interest and responsible parties maybe the site can continue?
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toft
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[*] posted on 23-5-17 at 07:23 AM
I'm Back


Hi to all,

As I just got back in town, I have to catch up on the posts and the U2U's, especially those concerning the closing of this site. Give me 24 hours to do that and we can hopefully come to some kind of agreement.

Just as a side note, I am not closing this site because of money. The annual renewal fees are not bad, yet updating this site could be costly. My problem is that I continue to have the responsibility to come here on a daily basis and clean out the spammers and (in general) to scan any posts or moderate in whatever way is needed. My marriage to the addict in my life ended over 3 years ago and the only thing that keeps dragging me back into sadness is having to come here every day. Partners have stopped posting for the most part and most addicts who enjoy this site are not really interacting with each other very much. I do not see very much serious recovery work happening. It may be happening in your personal lives, but I don't see it reflected on PAI which makes me wonder if the site has become nothing more than a place for keeping a journal. You don't need PAI just for that. I feel that the only person who is left to take responsibility for the day to day operation of the site is me. I am not an addict and there are rarely partners coming around looking for support. So why should I keep getting pulled back in the world of addiction that does nothing but cause me considerable sadness after all this time?

Listen, I love that you have all gotten something positive from PAI, that makes every penny spent worth whatever I have had to do to try to keep this site going. I have no problem in providing a place for recovery to happen. But I need help around here and at this point I feel that it should be up to the community to keep it going, to physically offer help and support rather than me do it. I just can't physically do it anymore.

I would continue to pay the bills if someone else took over the leg work, but nobody seems to want to or has the time to do that. So if you can quickly come up with a plan to maintain the site yourselves, I will pay the annual fees, or if we can come to an agreement I will happily work out a transition of ownership. Otherwise, I just don't need to be doing this anymore. I need to move on in a healthier life style and put the tragedy this addiction caused in the past and look for something more positive for myself in the future. I just don't think my being here is helping anybody, and the reality is that it hurts me personally more than it helps me. At the same time, I have no regrets of having started this site at all. I am really glad to know it has helped some people.


So no... it isn't about money.

toft




Addiction doesn't kill the addict. It kills the family, kids and people who tried to help!


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This is a true story and is copyright material. Use of this material is forbidden without the express permission of the author.
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js2004
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[*] posted on 23-5-17 at 02:03 PM


Toft - understood. I totally get you wanting to move on and appreciate what you have done to further the recovery cause for others, including myself.

Perhaps it would help (me at least) knowing about how much time you spend moderating the site/monitoring spam on a daily basis. If you could put something together outlining the work and time spent, that may help understand the commitment involved. I may be able to spare some time depending on how much is required.
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NewLeaseOnLife
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[*] posted on 24-5-17 at 12:51 AM


I would be willing to team up with js2004 and help maintain the site. Initially I was worried about contributing a [Censored]load of money because I acquired a lot of medical bills that I am paying on right now. But I said I would even do that if some brothers chipped in. But if it's just about the time, I'd like to spare a good resource like this from biting the dust. Seems there doesn't seem to be too many of them left on the block? So count me in too and I have a feeling Mr Badger would at least chip in when he's here and help to moderate situations that might arise? So I promise I won't disappear if my assistance is required. I help chair and treasure a local SA group so I know people have to step up to keep the doors open. I too would like to see the outline of duties and things to know?
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