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Author: Subject: My Dear Partners


Posts: 1985
Registered: 4-6-06
Location: Canada
Member Is Offline

Mood: Post Trauma

[*] posted on 14-6-17 at 11:06 AM
My Dear Partners

This is hard. I had not realized that I was putting off writing this message. It seems to be having an emotional effect on me. I hope that a few of you will drop by to know how much I love and appreciate you.

Eleven long years! After thousands of posts, (mostly LONG posts, lol) I am struggling to find words to express how much I appreciate you all for helping me get through the tragedy of being the wife of an addict over the years. It has been a very long journey, starting with my original D-Day where I met the woman who started PAI with me to all of you that I have met along the way.

As I said in the other message on the addict side, I would be a complete mess if it were not for those who came along (partners!) who sometimes carried me through the worst times in my life. I consider you my friends forever, far beyond PAI. Thank you for helping me wake up and realize that I could not fix him, that have no control over an addiction that I do not own. Thank you for helping me BELIEVE that I deserved to be at the top of my priority list, that it was wrong that I was raised to believe that I had to be everybody's caregiver, that I had to fix everybody, that I should feel guilty that my husband has this awful addiction, that I had anything to do with an addiction he had long before I met him.

Honestly, I get a little weepy when I think of the wonderful women who passed through here. They all came to PAI, betrayed and broken, but they received help and guidance from other partners who had walked in their shoes. In turn, they also paid it forward and I dare say that HUNDREDS of partners were able to find their way to recovery and into much better lives. So many partners never posted but lurked through these boards every single day and quietly received help and information to help them move onto a better path. I received many messages from women who were afraid to post but were grateful that others did. You ladies have no idea how your messages have effected women around the world!!

MANY THANKS TO ALL OF THE PARTNERS WHO VOLUNTEERED AS MODERATORS, PAST AND PRESENT, WHO HELPED KEEP PAI GOING FOR THE LAST 11 YEARS. There is no way I could have managed without you and I hope that you got some love and appreciation from the thousands of lives you have touched with your kindness and support.

Stay true to yourselves, ladies. You now recognize what addiction looks like and I hope you will always trust your gut and know you deserve to live in a porn-free home. You deserve to live a life of happiness and in the knowledge that you cannot make others happy. Happiness is a personal choice, it cannot be given, nor can it be taken. At most, Happiness can only be shared between two honest individuals. You deserve happiness, you deserve to be what is called 'selfish' and you have to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of your children. Let yourself believe that you are the most important person in your life.

Much love,
Linda (aka toft)

Note: As the domain name is still alive, you might want to check back over the next year to see if someone else starts it anew.

Addiction doesn't kill the addict. It kills the family, kids and people who tried to help!


This is a true story and is copyright material. Use of this material is forbidden without the express permission of the author.
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